Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Ridiculous movie sequels

A friend and I were talking about the bad Hollywood sequel-itis, and ruining two good movies with 28 Weeks Later and Dog Soldiers 2, so we started coming up with some bad sequels.

A good one of his:

City of Found Children.

Some of mine:

The Abyss 2: Dry Land
The Leander Job
Googli (plot centers around online searches for mobsters and bad actors)

Any others?


khickman said...

"The Unusual Suspects". Kevin Spacey plays the mysterious Kaiser Wilhelm.

"Reservoir Cats". Ms. Scarlet, Col. Mustard, Professor Plum and others unite to commit the perfect crime. Directed by the Parker brothers.

"Friendly Streets". Martin Scorsese directs Harvey Keitel in the life story of Dale Carnegie.

"Das Boot II: The Unsinkening".

Trey said...

I see The Hooker With a Heart of Gold role easily filled by Joey Lawrence in at least some of those movies!

khickman said...

SAT question: Matt LeBlanc is to "How you doin'?" as Joey Lawrence is to:

a) Chiggidy Chiggidy.
b) Get these mother#$%! snakes off this mother #$%! plane!
c) Whoaa!
d) B and C

Trey said...

If only it were D!

Great - now I'm going to have to pull out my Blossom Criterion Special Edition DVD set.

crose said...

Snakes on a boat

Apocalypse Then

Locked, Stocked and Two Smoked Cigarettes

Herbie: Fully Dressed

Major League 4: Back to T-Ball

Lethal Weapon 5: The Passion of a Lethal Weapon

Die Hard 4: Die Harder

4 Wheeling, 4 Wildin' or Fast and the Furious 4: RC Fury

khickman said...

In honor of today, August 18, we should look forward to the inevitable sequels/hybrids...

Snakes on Air Force One: SLJ saves Harrison Ford's backside, but not before Calista Flockhart is swallowed by a helpful anaconda.

Snakes on a Train: SLJ teams up with Gene Wilder. Both laughs and neurotoxins fly in this wacky, venom filled ride across the west.

Snakes on a Plain: SLJ does Clint one better as he battles a syphillis-maddened Laura Ingalls Wilder and her prairie pythons.

Snakes on a Tram: SLJ battles a variety of Floridian reptiles as he rescuses riders from an infested "It's A Small World" ride in an unnamed theme park. Climactic line: "I have had it with these Mother#@$%! robots singing this Mother#@$%! song!"

Trey said...

"These snakes are...autoerotic?"

crose said...

Looks like someone on msnbc reads this blog. Trey might know patents, but does he know copyright?

khickman said...

Thank goodness for the allowance of parody under "Fair Use". Enjoy it while you can, fair use may not be with us in another 5 years.

Still, I think Trey's ideas are pretty funny. And the SoaP format is like a form of Madlibs: its almost impossible NOT to mash together films in a SoaP template and get at least a smile.

"Snakes in a Car" Let's see how many times Morgan Freeman can belt out the MF word while saving Jessica Tandy.

Sandra White said...

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Trey said...

Wow! More spam!

Those snakes really must be autoerotic!

Sandra White said...

phentermine - health insurance - debt consolidation - home equity loans Nice comment.. I ll come back for sure :]

David said...

How about, "The Blog that Time Forgot"...haven't seen any updates in a while!

Trey said...

Ouch - you and Sandra White!

I'm back on the (blog) wagon!