A spammer, by any other name, would pretty much be just as spammy.

I get a lot of spam, whether it's about body parts, bank accounts or unpronouncable prescription drugs. I keep a folder of spam in my email just to collect the amazing names that are attached to these emails. Here are some of the actual (unretouched) names:

Dave K. Infanticide
Regenerates G. Irishman
Oscillation G. Repudiates
Guffawing S. Clean
Indebtedness T. Helling
Lethally R. Halfhearted
Shitting H. Hyphens
Quadrangular I. Biting
Pantsuit H. Saturnalia
Heckler M. Promiscuous
Euthanasia E. Sobriety

I think I speak for everyone when I say, "I would definitely by something, over the internet, from someone named Pantsuit," but how do they know?

"Veda Sultenfuss? Tough break, kid."